I am shit I have been away I am so sorry (bad excuse)
So I studied with some right bellends
“My dad invented the bubbles in areos”
“My mum designs the albums covers for Rolling Stones”
“I am related to Alexander Fleming”
I don’t care
I am from Nottingham
“You’re from Nottingham…Doesn’t that have terrible gun crime”
Oh get over yourself mate.
Four years of being away from home and I am back with the parents.
Who are constantly hinting for me to move out.
I volunteer everywhere
I get told
“Keep job hunting”
“Only accept paid work”
Oh yeah it’s that simple
Invigilating in a gallery eating chocolate biscuits
Is probably a better use of my time
At least some of it can go on my CV .
So 4 years of uni debt
Being told a first will open you so many doors
and most days I have customers shout at me for the 5p carrier bag charge.
I stand around a lot
With a floral dress on
As customers click their fingers
Mutter under the breath
Moan how expensive we are
And how useless I am
When we run out of stock.
Yet I smile ..and say
” I think paradise bunch is lovely it’s my favourite print”
“Oh my goodness bloomsbury bouquet really matches your skin tone “
I laugh when I see customers mess up the display
That I was in preparing at 7.00am
I grit my teeth
When customers demand a refund
On a teddy bear
That their baby has been sick on.
5 minutes before.
Yet I am still smiling
I watch Jack my best friend get promoted in his teaching post
I see my friend Sarah is getting married
And asks me to be her Bridesmaid
And tells me
“Not tot to worry you will be on top table as you no boyfriend”
I even went for management position at work
After 2 years
Of putting up with
Getting told not to say ducky
As I sound common
And that I must paint my nails
They said No
Gave it to someone external
will keep doing all their overtime
Cleaning their toilets
bringing in their sales
As they natter
and eat chocolate in the office.
I seem to be good at
Smiling and putting tulips in my hair and pretending everything is okay
and I am really good at pretending that paradise flower is my favourite print
and I wear it all the time.