If I Were to Die Today – I would leave…

15 Aug

Over the past couple weeks the AMAZING Choman Hardi  has been running workshops as part of WEYA. One of the exercises she did was writing a poem about all the things you would leave behind if you died. It was a really interesting and emotional exercise. Try it! And let me know what you think of the poem I am currently editing from the exercise…

Life Whole


I will leave my best friend, Suzie

my memories between the ages of 4 and 16;

building boats out of beer barrels,

getting lost on the 25 bus,

screaming at each other on the Central Line,


eating pasta from polystyrene with our hands,

teaching her not to be racist,

teaching me not to be a cocky bastard,

plucking her eyebrows and painting

her face the right shade of skin.

To remind her she has no rhythm.


I will leave her drunk recordings of our

hands high as disco balls

and sticky as foam-party bubbles.

I will leave her my phone voice

so no one can notice.


I will leave Mum my poetry

and it will piss her off

for a good ten years.

Until, missing my boisterousness,

she picks them up – reads the dark anaemia


around her eyes, sunken

from screaming up our home

and laughing up Bolognese at ourselves.


I will leave her our patronising

cheek- kisses and childish grip –

where I have learned charisma


(and oh how I won’t need to leave her that)

I hope she will forgive my exposure of her

when she reads that she is my punctuation.


I will leave Dad my emotional vocabulary,

so his grandchildren won’t have to wait

until they’re 18 to hear that he loves them.


I will leave my adopted brother, Arun my sobriety.

I will leave my oldest brother, Richard forethought

so he can stop upsetting himself into being the bully.


I will leave my partner, Joel, my skin,

because alone, our layers are too akin

for the width of our lives and their history

thick and fun as lungs of tar.


I will shed birthmarks and scars

in fear that without me, like a snake,

he will eat life whole in his bravery


his body swelling

and tearing



Thanks for your time




One Response to “If I Were to Die Today – I would leave…”

  1. mouthypoets January 7, 2013 at 12:07 am #

    I don’t want to be the person that just says they like a poem as i know your probably looking for critique or suggestions or question but i just thought id describe what I love as i honestly don’t know what i would Change or question sorry. but anyway i love
    – how specific the first things you will leave are. that they are only applicable to you which means you aren’t following cliches but also your inviting us into your thoughts almost exclusive.
    – the sincerity and completely personal the last few things are. that even though you joke none of the things are material. im guessing that would be too easy! Honestly for many people its a scary place in your mind to think about death and loosing people.therefore to
    confront something so
    emotional it makes a stronger person and writer to not only go there in the first place but to male it into something so beautiful.

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