The Lover…

29 Jan

The Lover…
The lover came like litmus paper
like litmus paper love.
Ignited with a blow torch
the lover walked into the room (and my conciousness)
with all thier loving glory.

Necklaces,Cava and lush bath bombs
Passionate and fizzy.
The lover poisioned me you might say… the lover laced me
I drank from the lovers sweet nectar
I tasted liberation! I tasted feelings! for a fraction of only meagre hours.

Until one ill fated night the lover drank from the wrong poisioned chalice
and revealed their true self to me.
Revolving colours shone brightly
and burned as if a meteor entering earths atomosphere.
I remained calm, I remained still
during the display.
The sun arose the next morning and with a clear head deviod of poison only then did I have a revelation of the mind the text message read: from my fingers tap tap tap into the phone;

I could NEVER see myself with you…

You laced me with sweet poision only to turn it into putrid undrikable water.
days later!

Thank you! for the hurt thank you! for the embarrasment…

You promised what you could not deliver…

 

 

Serita x

 

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3 Responses to “The Lover…”

  1. mouthypoets January 29, 2013 at 11:06 pm #

    I really like the language you use in this, and particularly the first paragraph.
    I think you could potentially finish with the second to last line ‘Thank you! for the hurt thank you! for the embarrasment…’ as to me this gives a feeling of happyness with the realisation and strength.

    Lila x

  2. Matt February 7, 2013 at 9:54 pm #

    really like this. I quite like the last line, though I see Lila’s point. You lost me slightly in this bit –

    The sun arose the next morning and with a clear head deviod of poison only then did I have a revelation of the mind the text message read: from my fingers tap tap tap into the phone –

    I get what you’re saying and I think everything is there but maybe its an issue of line breaks/sentence structure?
    Maybe break it into bittier sentences.

    Otherwise, gorgeous

    Matt x

  3. mouthypoets February 8, 2013 at 9:15 am #

    Hey Serita,

    I know you have already memorised this WHICH I AM VERY IMPRESSED BY. And I am really happy with the way the performance is developing. I am also really happy with how far you are pushing the originality of your imagery and metaphors so I won’t give you a text edit at this stage. I think you are going to give an outstanding performance and I am happy with that!

    Debris x

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