I Feel Scared Every Day – Do you?

26 Jun

I have been feeling scared lately. Of too many things to articulate yet I think. So I did this freewrite to shed some light… not sure it has, but anyway tell me if it makes some kind of sense.

Debris x

 

Fear

 

I smooth Vix Vapour rub 

over my nose                 swipe in

too close       to my eyes.

 

Steam my soggy

towel-shrouded head. 
The swollen air hugs sockets. 

The menthol burns wet

 

I sprint in breathe

it thwacks my chest clean.

 

 

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3 Responses to “I Feel Scared Every Day – Do you?”

  1. Sonia Jarema June 27, 2013 at 10:18 pm #

    the bit where you swipe in too close to your eyes really resonated. it does make sense i think. but should it be breath rather than breathe?

  2. mouthypoets June 28, 2013 at 9:47 am #

    Hi Sonia,

    What was it about that line that resonated with you? Do you think the way I have played with the layout works in that section?

    Yes- that is a typo, thanks for spotting that and appreciate you taking the time to comment.

    Warmest Regards
    Debris

    • Sonia Jarema June 28, 2013 at 6:01 pm #

      I liked the layout in the first section – it leaves a space the shape of the end of a nose. But in the next bit I didn’t understand why there was a verse break between Steam my soggy and towel-shrouded head. I’d be tempted to use couplets for those two lines and the next two but you may well have a good reason for choosing that layout. That bit about the Vicks near the eyes resonated because it made me think how something that has the potential to do you good can harm you if you don’t treat it with enough care and attention (does that make sense?)
      Great line – The swollen air hugs sockets
      All the best
      Sonia
      p.s. Fear isn’t far from exhilaration.

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