beauty in darkness (sst6 idea thing, feedback would be cool.)

20 Dec

I have recently been caught up on the cruel language of optimism and maybe that I always offer a passive ”yeah ~ I’m okay thanks ~” to people I don’t feel the need to open up to. because in conversations with my close friends they are completely different and quite dark. I’ve also been thinking about the really morbid aspects of life that have recently maybe become to play a larger role in my own life. I’ve explored these topics in little poems,  and I really enjoyed the dark outcome.

I performed a few at bar deux and seemed to receive good feedback in terms of it wasn’t something I’ve done before. I really want to do a poem for say something that so dark and morbid, that it makes the audience squeamish in their seats.  be personal enough to emotionally connect to it,but this time not so self centered. maybe focusing more on the actions of those around me..

Some inspiration comes from the love I have for these lyrics
Blue October – Hate me

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain”

poem1:

sometimes it seems that it’s in my veins
like a copper coil wire
so integrated into my body
I often feel the need
to rip and tear my skin
to claw out the crimson coil

poem2:
I walk home, and I think of empty swings, think of the dead leaves that shuffle under my feet, feels the broken headphones in my pocket.
I wonder why everything has to die. I think of his dead mother. His seven years of life expectancy. The cancer test she refuses to get. The years I count down to my suicidal grave.
Everything is dying. We will blend into the earth and feed new life.We will become tall trees, swaying together in the cold, shedding leaves under the wind. We will shade our children’s children, and be rid of wanderlust.
They will make love under the shade, giggle and tantrum their desires. and we shall watch
them
die
too.

poem3:
Tonight.
October has hit my toes,
made them ice cream cool.
I fall asleep thinking of you…
and him.
Your,
blue eyed angel. Your,
forever gal.
Two sinners trapped between bedsheets,
blood lust and low moans,
high pitched whines,
whimpers.
love is split from hips,
blood drawn from lips,
you choke, bend and snap at his will,
your body refuses to sit still,
twitches for his arms as an aftermath.
will he love you the tomorrow after that?

___

yeah… I really want to make this something very un-stereotypically me- the stage / page me. and more the stuff that goes off in my brain. My best friend’s first impressions of me was this. “You were like a tar pit. you suck people in in, suffocate, and kill them. I thought it was brutal and I liked it.” … I know it maybe a little of an exaggeration but some truth is held in it.

I’m super excited. I just need to find the structure.

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2 Responses to “beauty in darkness (sst6 idea thing, feedback would be cool.)”

  1. anneholloway December 31, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

    I think you could definitely work on poem 1 and 3 and merge them. I like the coldness of the pieces, there is a detachment about you that I think would be great to explore, like you’re a watcher… does that make sense? So almost like you are watching the other people and learning how to behave?

  2. mouthypoets January 2, 2014 at 1:49 pm #

    Absolutely brutal piece love the harsh imagery and words I’d say go into this deeper ‘neal

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