Lila SS6 Second Draft commission

18 Jan

Hello,

Debris, and everyone actually, I just wanted to get this up but please don’t comment yet, will put a complete one up soon.

I think the direction will change after todays session but basically I want it to be about breaking out of the norm and what is normal anyway?

I’ve done a few free writes and just working it into it at the moment so I’ll put it up asap. 

Time: 3 minutes

 

Unstitch your internal notepad of desires.

Let them seep into the scars beneath your feet

Let them addle the pavement

Crack gum.

Upset the regime with salubrious pleasure.

Drop the guise of every-day.

 

What’s normal anyway?

(working on this section)

 

Unstitch your internal notepad of desires.

Sign fulfilled on bank cheques.

Lick toes.

Let them re-colour black decisions painted upon

Tinted societies.

Crack bellies with laughter.

Put your energy on the grid and sell it

for free.

Drop the guise of every-day.

 

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3 Responses to “Lila SS6 Second Draft commission”

  1. mouthypoets February 3, 2014 at 1:31 pm #

    I’m aware you said not to comment! BUT the way you’ve juxtaposed ‘bank cheques’ and ‘lick toes’ really works. Made me smile. I look forward to hearing more from the ‘what’s normal anyway’ section. You’re using words in a way that’s original as well – ‘Crack gum’ ‘Crack bellies with laughter’ haven’t heard that before. Enjoyed reading.

    Cleo

    • Aries February 11, 2014 at 1:55 am #

      That’s not juxtaposition…Juxtaposition is a literary technique in which two or more ideas, places, characters and their actions etc. are placed side by side in a narrative or a poem for the purpose of developing comparisons and contrasts.. Please explain ?

      • mouthypoets February 13, 2014 at 11:08 pm #

        I believe the reference would be to the dictionary definition of Juxtaposition as “an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, especially for comparison or contrast”

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