JIM AND JOSH FINAL EDIT – Commission

8 Feb

Hi Debris,

I think at this stage, we’re looking for guidance on the balance between funny and ‘serious’.

Is ‘being a man is..’ too cliche as a refrain?

cheers,

Josh

 

 

 

 

Josh: Hey man.

Jim: Hey man.

Josh: So we’re standing on scaffolding right now.

Jim: Sweet!..Why?

Josh: We’re exploring masculinity Jim. We weren’t built like builders. But we can try the man-talk-over-a-tea-break-thing.

Jim: Oh. Okay. Like a metaphor?

Josh: Sort of.

Jim: Josh. I thought this was going to be a full-on, real talk poem. No hiding behind metaphors.

Josh: Well, like I say, it’s not strictly a metaphor, and technically we’re ON it, not behind it, but I see your point. Just go with it Jim.

Jim: Okay Josh.

Josh: For example, that girl below us is severely fit.

Jim: Agreed.

Josh: I wanna articulate that in a reckless yet reasonable way.

Jim: Woah! Reckless?

Josh: Yeah, reckless. You know. James Dean, Rebel without a cause. Girls like that sort of thing.

Jim: Sure..

Josh: Aloof, because you never, EVER, let a girl know that you like her. It makes you look stupid.

Jim: It makes you look vulnerable.

Josh: Exactly. Now, the classic opening line is always ‘Oi. Darlin!’ It’s been done. But you don’t mess with a classic. So that’s my opening line. What about you?

Jim: Actually I have a girlfriend man.

Josh: Woah, woah. Who says that just because you may have a girlfriend..

Jim: I definitely have a girlfriend.

Josh: Alright! But who’s to say that should stop you from looking at other girls, or shouting at other girls from scaffolding…

Jim: I just feel like it’s kind of greedy. Like a kid who took the last ice cream and still wants more.

Josh: Nothing wrong with ice cream though Jim. Thing is, you can always manage another.

Jim: I actually like to enjoy my one ice cream.

Josh: Don’t tell me you never had the craving.

Jim: But too much ice cream can make you really poorly.

Josh: Maybe you’re just jealous because I can handle more ice cream than you!

Jim: Look man if this is just you wanting an ice cream I already went to the shop ten minutes ago.

Josh: This isn’t about ice cream Jim!

Jim: What is it about Josh!?

Josh: It’s a simile Jim?

Jim: Simile? More like simmer DOWN.

Josh: How can I simmer down when I’m trying to live life at the boiling point?

Jim: What’s that? A new years resolution or something?

Josh: It’s more of a philosphy

Jim: Go on then Socrates.

Josh: I dunno man, maybe it’s not a philosophy. I just don’t wanna miss chances. Neither should you. Come out with us tonight?

Jim: Tonight?

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: I dunno.

Josh: Come on!

Jim: Where you going?

Josh: It doesn’t matter. Somewhere with cheap tequilla and loads of girls.

Jim: What about..

Josh: You don’t have to do anything. You don’t even have to speak to any girls. Come on Jim, Man up.

Jim: Man up?

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: What do you mean?

Josh: You’re hardly a shining beacon of masculinity right now.

Jim: What? WHAT? By whose standard? What does being a man look like anyway?

Josh: Being a man is a pint or ten on match day. It’s turning down the sound and doing your own commentary.

Jim: Being a man is throwing a house party and forgetting to invite your feelings.

Josh: Being a man is finding the guy who punched you in the scrum and shaking his hand. Cos, hey, I would punch me too.

Jim: Being a man is your body not knowing what to do on a dancefloor filled with other men.

Josh:  Being a man is realising you’re not a knight in shining armor.

Jim: Being a man is hand holding is only foreplay.

Josh: Being a man is knowing she has to save herself.

Jim: Being a man is crying at only at appropriate moments.

Josh: Being a man is crying at the les mis film.

Jim: Being a man is two minutes into Love Actually is definitely not an appropriate moment.

Josh: Being a man is starting a standing ovation at Nottingham cineworld.

Jim: Wait. If this is a tea break..

Josh: A metaphorical tea break.

Jim. If this is a metaphorical tea break. Dude. How long exactly is this metaphorical tea break?

Josh: Jim. Seriously. Chill. We’ve got like ten seconds left.

Jim: Oh. Okay. Cool.

‘silence’

Jim: See you then man.

Josh: See you man.

 

(Jim EXITS: leaves Josh hanging)

 

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