Draft No. Million: This Is How The Night Was Made (Lord of The Night) by Honey

1 Mar

This Is How The Night Was Made.

Poem Written by Honey Williams, FINAL DRAFT 4:29mins

 

The Lord of the night had the darkness wrapped in a handkerchief; this is how the night was made.

 

‘She invented the night by accident.

When her buttons could no longer contain her double ffs

A handkerchief was laid across her chest to mop up her desires & their envious glares.

The insatiable night grew from there.

 

Night-lit cityscapes sprouted from her bra straps,

Electricity from the clasps.

Distant DnB sub bass embroidered into the lace.

Dreams now awake in the jet-black of her lingerie.

Her poses tasted like Mature Venetian Wild Berry Liqueurs in ornate decanters.

She was encrusted with stars, whispers, leather and other sexy things,

Shadows of panthers in voodoo trances prowled around her areolas

Where bedtime stories used to lie.

 

First Monsters, then Criminals & knobheads and other reprobates

later desecrated the sacrosanct night,

She may have to fight.

 

Sometimes she cries

Sometimes shes feelin it all inside

Sometimes she dies

For 12hrs,

Right now I am the lord of the night.

 

25 things people have said to try and destroy her Kingdom

  1. Fat girls reek
  2. You stink!
  3. Man beast
  4. Mampe
  5. Laughter
  6. She cant run
  7. You would be the prettiest one out of all your friends if you were slim
  8. We don’t do your size….youre gonna have to go over to the old ladies shop near the old bus pass place yeah
  9. Shes yours mate
  10. Who’d want you?
  11. FAT BASTARD! Shouted by random man from random flat whilst she did her morning walk/exercise
  12. Laughter sniggery this time

13. Youre pretty but you would be prettier if you took the off weight

14. Noone would want to marry you because youre too fat

15. No other man apart from me will want you

16. Youd never think she was my sister?

17. You can sing but you haven’t got the right look for our label

18. Oh my god her hair

19. Its not the 70s love

20. Hello we only go up to a size 16

21. Size 8, Size 8, Size 8, Size 6, Size 6, Size 10!, Size 8

22. Will you go out with me? No? Nigger!!!

23. Black bitch

24. We don’t think youd fit in with our staff

25. What are you doing here?

 

Words painful as fox howls and switch bladed gashes.

Trying not to be bitter, every cell in her sky wanted to retreat from her kingdom, her lordship rarely saw the light of day.

People referred to this demeanor as being ‘aloof’

 Her line of retaliation used to be… beheading standard, with swift sharp words.

 Now its her posture, her talent, articulation, wisdom and her quite niceness actually.

She no longer feels the need to be the Lord of the Night,

…all the time.

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One Response to “Draft No. Million: This Is How The Night Was Made (Lord of The Night) by Honey”

  1. poetclare September 15, 2014 at 3:32 pm #

    Dear Honey

    I’ve been asked to comment on this millionth draft for the tour!

    I like it a lot – the mixture of the mythical with the grit of everyday; the voodoo panther trances with the cries of FAT BASTARD! Etc. It feels really fresh and full of interesting tension that made me read on.

    -A question to start – why did you decide to call her a Lord when this is usually a male label? I found it a bit confusing at first, I wasn’t sure if she was the Lord or not (I’d expect Lady or Queen). I quite admire it if you’re being subversive, but you have to be aware it might throw some people, so just something to think about.

    -I like the idea of night beginning as a covering up of breasts though – it’s about desire from the start, what you can and can’t have…

    -The next, centred verse is really surreal, but I like the idea of her having an erotic city mapped onto her body. There’s a great tension between ‘high’ and ‘low’ language too. It’s
    not often knobheads and sacrosanct are in the same sentence!

    -I really like the list of things people have said to hurt her – for me it’s the strongest part of the poem and a huge contrast to the more fantasy elements. I particularly like the random man from the random flat, and noticing the difference between laughter and sniggery laughter.

    -I think in: ‘People referred to this demeanor as being ‘aloof’’ you could cut ‘being’. I also think ‘quite’ before niceness doesn’t quite work grammatically.

    -The one real uncertainty I have with this poem is the ending. Why does she no longer feel she has to be Lord of the Night all the time? All we’ve seen is a really horrible list of things people said to her which hurt like ‘switch bladed gashes’ (a really powerful image.) I haven’t seen any reason at all why she’d get nicer. What’s changed? What is making her lose the darkness? We need to see something happen for her to change in this way, or the story doesn’t add up…

    -Just one other general editing point too – I like the way you’re using visual elements to show shifts in tone, but sometimes it feels a bit over-the-top – you don’t necessarily need something to be centred AND in italics AND in bold – just one of those would signal a shift.

    -Overall though this feels a brave, powerful, funny piece full of arresting imagery and language and I really enjoyed it – glad this is going to be part of the tour,

    Best Clare x

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