Kai – Loewenmouthy Draft (NEAT14)

11 May

Hi all,

this is my first draft of my poem for Loewenmouthy, the NEAT14 show.

Some of you already heared this poem at Malt’s cross last Wednesday. Those of you who haven’t heard it: Try to read it out aloud, because I think you need to hear the words in order to understand the ‘story’ behind the poem. The story is basically on an abstract level why I am here (to learn how to write, perform and teach spoken poetry), what I struggled with and how I feel about it now.

The following feedback I’d like to have in particular:

  • Can you follow the story? Where do you or don’t you understand anything?
  • What could be improved in terms of structure?
  • What would you like to hear more about?

Dankeeeee! 🙂

 

Nun, Io am standing prima di vous,

et spreke Woerter, que Io know.

Mio Lebenslauf, my CV, promesse, dass Ich kan parlare

Deutsch. English. Italiano. Francais. Nederlands.

Force, vous denkt, dass ik posso juggle avec

Woerter. Words. Parole. Les mots. Woorden.

That ik ben eloquent, eloquent (elokon), welsprekend.

Nein. No. No. Non. Nee.

Les lingue toujour escape mein brein

Darum. Thus. Pertanto. Danc. Daroom.

Io came ici, a Nottingham,

in Januar, quatre months ago

zu den Mouthy Poets

to catch mijn paroles

per finden my voice

Um zu leren, how to

Esprimermi durch woorden

Come I can vertellen la storia mia, le storie of others

Wie man powerful images creëren kan.

To explore mezelf en was io wil.

E je did this.

Io never heb scritto une poème bevor.

En in four Monaten

Ho scritto quatre poems

Aber ich non like them

Zu simplemente, concept est goed,

Ma non les paroles,

Und poetry is considering jedes einzelnes Wort.

E alle anderen found words, eloquently

Und ich nicht.

En ik dachte

Je heb no talento.

Io struggled

Per finden my voice

Et the laenger je have ben a Nottingham,

the mehr Io realiser, dass scrivere is non mon medium,

jedenfalls niet today,

peutetre tomorrow,

mais rather dass Ik want to danser

exprimer mezelf con mio body, et niet con mio Woerter.

Improvisieren on stage,

non considering het woorden on page.

 

Maar con dieses one today

Written eine uur ago

C’est men vijfde in total.

Je heb realised dass ik heb getanzt with words.

Thus. Pertanto. Danc. Daroom. Daher:

I will declare:

Ich werde tanzen.

Je vais danser.

Ik zal dansen.

I will dance.

With Words.

From now on.

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