Hayley Green – SST7 Headline Idea

1 Jun

So I’ve been thinking about this memory I have when we used to get changed for PE at school. It was before I accepted I was gay and I felt completely uncomfortable surrounded my girls getting changed. Always in my head was if I look towards them they’ll say I’m a lesbian and then another voice in my head being all like “well why would you think that unless you were a lesbian”.

So I thought the performance could be set in a changing rooms – I’ll need Mouthys to be on stage and then I’ll have numerous layers of clothing that I will take off throughout.

Maybe 3 characters:

1 exploring how I felt my body didn’t match theirs

1 that would imagine the other girls were calling me names

1 would be this other voice telling me I’m a lesbian

It all feels very confusing which the writing will figure out I hope.

 

I also thought about how I used to project these feelings onto others and really kind of bully other girls, like I imagined people would me if they found out I was gay – so I was thinking about Freud’s theory of displacement – putting your emotions onto another so I might explore as a character in place of one of the above, depending on where the writing goes.

 

So here’s a start for setting the scene:

 

I spent 10 minutes studying my timetable this morning

Just staring at 2 little letters.

Like alphabetti spaghetti

they swam on the blue and white striped plastic of my school planner

my heart burning like over cooked soup

 

Today it’s PE

It’s not PE I don’t like

it’s the bit before it

in the stuffy changing rooms.

 

Browning tiles crumble off the walls

cracking with the disguise I wrap around myself.

I clamber as make-up dolls rush past me

I am twelve

staring at the door

that separates the girls from the boys

wondering if it’s there for me to walk through.

 

Puberty hasn’t done much for me

my nickname is ironing board

but my friends’ chests

are now bigger than tennis balls

I close my eyes when looking towards them

hoping they don’t tell this story

 

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