Jo Kelen – one of the shows – really sorry its late :D

10 Jun

ok so here’s a poem – its not the origional idea i put up before but kinda something I’ve needed to write for a while – aware its very long atm, will be trimmed.

Duck and Elephant

There once was a duck who when she was at school
Was literally the definition of everything uncool
Flapping her wings randomly she’d waddle about
And never quite managed to figure out
Why no other animals were nice to her
Told her to shut the fuck up or they’d rip out her feathers
Bound barb-wire round her beak so she couldn’t make a sound
She eventually learned to murge into the background
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so

There once was a elephant who when he was at school
Was literally the definitition of everything cool
With his long trunk he painted the most beautiful paintings
That left all the animals internally bleeding
Because they wanted to be him, but he didn’t care
His mind was perminately wandering elsewhere
Because they were boring and tedious and dull
They’re words made his aching bowel grumble
‘I’m constipated by this school monotony
I want to be out, I want to be free
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so

At an afterschool creative writing club this mix match met
Elephant went with a couple of his friends
Duck went alone with a poem or two
She wrote all the time, though no one else knew
As she read them out the elephant laughed
Said ‘duck I think you’re completely daft’
Ruffled her feathers with his long grey trunk
When you wrote that stuff were you completely drunk
I wrote them she said to make myself smile
And forget about the life I have if for only a while
She slumped at the shoulders and hung her neck low
He said ‘you’re the coolest critter that ever I’ve known
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so

Elephant took her out to a club one night
Duck said, waaaa but this is a school night
I’ve never been to a club everyones so tall
Nelly said, for once stop thinking you’re small
He picked her up with his trunk and poped her on his head
Wow the airs so much thinner up here, she said
He bought her some drinks and she drank quite a lot
That she was small and uncool she quickly forgot
They danced like maniacs until the club closed
And staggered home giggling as the smiling sun rose
Nelly held her hair back as she threw up violently on the street
Twas never her art to be subtle and discrete
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so

Soon came time for the duck to go to uni
And the whole thing had her more than a little anxsty
What if they all hate me and think I’m annoying
You are annoying said Nelly, but at least you aint boring
I don’t want to endup all sad and alone
He said, you know I’ll always be on the other end of the phone
Don’t forget me then, she said, i’m really gonna miss you
Darling I’m an elephant, forget we don’t do
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so

A year on and the duck is doing alright
Working, writing drinking and tearing up the night
Calls her Nelly when she can, often for boy advice
A subject on which sultry Nelly is infinitely wise
But for Nelly he cannot sleep, and gets hounded by his shadow
Delious from coke and another one night stand stops picking up the phone
Phone keeps ringing, duck on the other end
Pick up pick up, please I need a friend. Voicemail yet again.
Meet up over Christmas, duck realised something was wrong
When she saw his trunk once magnificent and strong
Was covered in scars where he’d cut himself
She said why’d you never tell me, I would’ve helped
He slumped at the shoulders and hung his neck low
She said, you’re the coolest Nelly that ever I’ve known
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so

She put the kettle on threw his bong out the window
Pulled his head to her chest and rocked him too and fro
Asked him if he were a pie, what kind he would be
He said a mixture of avocado and toothpaste with a bitchumin gravy
Seriously is this honestly the best help you’ve got
Yea she said, its about as useful as a chocolate teapot
It’ll be alright she said, we’ll power on through
What else really is there to do?
I’m still not sure where this story will go
So I wont say it, because I just don’t know

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One Response to “Jo Kelen – one of the shows – really sorry its late :D”

  1. Victor Haven June 11, 2014 at 9:48 pm #

    I love the bit about being annoying but not boring. So true of the way friends care about , and talk to each other. Good story.

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