Duck and Elephant Final Draft Headline

7 Jul

Here is the final draft. I’ve got rid of my archaic capitals and added in a bit more internal rhyme sexiness. I did try the three line stanzas but I found it made the whole thing blunter and less bumbly and musical which is what I’m really going for with this one, but it was a really helpful excercize.

Visavi tech – big normal stage light which fades to a spot (maybe even red spot but that might be a bit ott) on 2nd to last stanza on the line ‘was covered in scars where he cut himself’

here it is anyhoo:

Duck and Elephant

There once was a duck who when she was at school
was literally the definition of everything uncool;
flapping her wings, she’d waddle about,
and never quite managed to figure out
why no other animals were friends with her,
told her to shut her beak up or they’d rip out her feathers;
bound barb-wire round her beak so she couldn’t make a sound,
She eventually merged into the background…
And I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so,
no I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so…

There once was an elephant who when he was at school
was literally the definition of everything cool;
brush in his trunk, he painted the most poignant things
that caressed the frets under everyones’ strings –
longing for him, but he didn’t care,
his mind was always somewhere elsewhere,
because they were boring and tedious and dull,
their anal babble rattled around his skull
Making him frustrated, deflated, and eventually lonely,
desperate to be free of their dreary monotony…
and I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so,
no I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so…

At an afterschool writing club this mix match met,
elephant went with a couple of friends,
Duck went alone with a poem or two
(she wrote all the time, though no one else knew).
As she read them out the elephant laughed
Said ‘duck I think you’re completely daft!’
Ruffled her feathers with his long grey trunk,
‘When you wrote that stuff were you high or drunk?’
‘I wrote them,’ she said ‘to make myself smile
and forget my life, if for only a while…’
She slumped at the shoulders and hung her neck low,
he said ‘you’re the coolest duck that ever I’ve known
And I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so
No I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so…’

Elephant took her out to a club one night,
Duck said, ‘waaaa but this is a school night
I’ve never been to a club, everyone’s so tall!’
He said, ‘for once in your life, stop thinking you’re small!’
He picked her up with his trunk and popped her on his head,
‘wow the airs so much thinner up here, she said.
He bought her some drinks and she drank quite a lot,
that she was small and uncool she quickly forgot,
they danced like maniacs until the club closed,
staggered home eyes blistering as the stern sun rose.
Then he held her feathers back as she threw up on the street
(twas never her art to be subtle or discrete)
and I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so,
no I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so…

Soon it was time for duck to go to Uni,
and the whole thing had her more than a little moody:
‘what if they all hate me and think I’m annoying?’
‘You are annoying’ he said, ‘but at least you aint boring,’
‘I don’t want to end up all sad and alone…’
he said, ‘you know I’ll always be on the other end of the phone,’
‘don’t forget me then,’ she said, ‘I’m really gonna miss you,’
‘darling I’m an elephant, so I’d never forget you…
and I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so,
no I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so…’

A year on now and Duck’s doing alright:
working, writing drinking and tearing up the night.
Calls him up when she can, often for boy advice,
(a subject on which sultry Elephant is infinitely wise…)
But the elephant he cannot sleep, gets hounded by his shadow,
delirious from coke and one night stands, stops picking up the phone,
Phone keeps ringing though, duck on the other end:
‘pick up pick up, please I need my best friend!’ Voicemail yet again.

Meet up over Christmas, duck realised something was wrong
when she saw his long grey trunk, once magnificent and strong

Was covered in scars
where he’d cut himself.

She said ‘why’d you never tell me, I would’ve helped.’
He slumped at the shoulders and hung his neck low,
she said, ‘you’re the coolest elephant that ever I’ve known
and I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so,
no I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t so…’

She put the kettle on threw his bong out the window,
pulled his head to her chest, rocked him too and fro…
Asked him, if you were a pie, what kind would you be?
He said, ‘avocado and toothpaste with a bitchumin gravy’
‘that’s quite good’, ‘yea’ he says, ‘I know’
They giggled for ages pretending they weren’t hollow,
then she said: ‘You’ll be alright, we’ll see this one through’
‘We?’ ‘Well yea, that’s what best friends do,’
‘I’m scared,’ he said, ‘what I’ll do when I’m sad and alone,’
She said, ‘you feel that way, then you pick up the phone!’
‘Ha! So you can spout some inane rubbish in my ear?’
She said, ‘yea stop pretending its not what you’d wanna hear
You might feel sad, fair play, but your not on your own’
‘Now yea, but you’re going north for Uni tomorrow…’

In a dark dingy room two hearts embrace in limbo,
three words never said, yet neither let go,
‘I needn’t say it,’ she thinks, ‘you already know,
‘no I needn’t say it, you already know…’


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