Purple Plane edit 3 – Mouthy Tour – Bea Udeh

20 Sep

Next January I will be 8
The same as my brother, Chinua
Actually, by the time I am 8 he will already be 9
It’s his birthday next month

I’m not quite sure what present to get him
I’m not quite sure if he’s been a good brother to me all the time
He can run faster than me.
He always gets to choose the biggest slice of mum’s banana and walnut bread.

He gets to stay up 15 minutes later than me at bedtime.
That’s like…forever.
I am always a good brother to him. Sometimes.
I let him beat me at chess and play with my Thundercats, Eye of Thundera

When I grow up,
I’m going to eat a whole banana cake to myself
When I grow up
I am going to be a
Masterchef
A rock star
The first brown Dr Who

I am going to design a plane that will squiggle through the sky
Leaving purple contrails to draw doodles way up high
My plane will fire water bombs on houses down below
Quenching flames to save multicoloured souls

My mum says that life is the bitter Kola nut
shared at family gatherings
Life is sweet In my playground,
Like the orange massacred by pudgy fingers

In my playground,
making a paper plane is easy
You really need to focus, fold it very carefully
In the middle, here
Then the wings
here
And here
Then again like this on both sides
Here.

My aunty likes songs by a little man
formerly known as Symbol.
He sings about laughing on a Purple Plane
Not meaning to cause no pain

Blossoms fall onto crayoned paper wings
The race breezes fast against my one sibling
Bickering is only a whisper when we both play
Sometimes I wish Chinua’s plane wouldn’t win

I saw the grown up news on the telly the other day
There was a man who was sent to prison
For killing his six children in a house fire

That made me think of Dr Who’s tardis.

It happened just down the road
round the corner from our house
Near our gymnastics
That made me wonder –
‘Not a very good thing to do to your children

My mum likes to throw our unloved toys
in the tip or take them to a charity shop
Making room for new toys our cousins give at Christmas.
Maybe I will get Dr Who’s sonic screwdriver
And use it to make things start all over.

Maybe that man should have taken his children to a charity shop
So that they could be fostered like my friend Robert at school

I know a boy who has behaviour issues
I think that man has behaviour issues

Glued on the side of my paper plane
Are chilli seeds for rocket fuel
Jumbo felts fill broad purple strokes
Disguising pink love hearts my mum stuck on each wing.

Soaring through the doodled sky
Down below Derby is a postcard fly-by
I draw 9 square windows,
to fly Mum and Chinua and me

Plus the ghosts of those 6 children
to forget about the pain
just to laugh and enjoy my
purple plane.

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2 Responses to “Purple Plane edit 3 – Mouthy Tour – Bea Udeh”

  1. mouthypoets September 20, 2014 at 10:03 pm #

    Hey Bea,

    Love this as always, great seeing it up again. Know we are moving onto performance now so just some tiny things and a reminder of what I love about this piece!

    LOVE
    -The detail that tells so much about the character; thunder cats, banana and walnut bread.
    -The little initinations in the narrators statements that tell you about him, that he knows it is exactly 15min between his and his brothers bedtime, that he is always nice to his brother… sometimes… it really feels like the elevated speech of an 7 year old.
    -These two lines really summerise what I love about this piece
    “I know a boy who has behaviour issues
    I think that man has behaviour issues”
    …It is the turns of the child imagination, which still creating some meaningful emotive points through the childs observations – love it, so powerful.

    QUESTIONS
    -Would a 7 year old say “save multicoloured souls” – what does this actually mean?
    -Instead of orange could you say satsuma or clemantine? Because I got confused for a minute thinking you meant the colour orange got masacred by pudgy fingers rather then the fruit – love this image though by the way!
    -I remember you saying you had layed this on the page like a plane – is this no longer the case?

    SUGGESTIONS

    1. Cut:
    “That’s like… forever” – you can perform this tone in the preceding line and the specificity of the line already implies this feeling.

    2. Go through and question every line & stanza break, why have you broken it there and drawn attention do it? Maybe try it in several different stanza formations; 3 lines, 4 lines, 6… it just feels like in terms of thinking about the zine there could be some tightening up here before you send it off to Anne for the line edit with clare.

    Cannot wait to see how you have added to the performance of this one!

    See you Monday!
    Debris

  2. l2pkpandey January 3, 2015 at 10:35 pm #

    loved it! nicely arranged and well written. . awesome! .. ipkp.wordpress.com

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