Joel Kelly – SST8 – Headline show – First draft

11 Jan

2 Responses to “Joel Kelly – SST8 – Headline show – First draft”

  1. MouthyPoets January 15, 2015 at 9:18 pm #

    Hey Joel

    This is so interesting, so much amazing specificity and detail and movement. I absolutely adore the whole pool part of the poem – amazing. Particlarly in ore of these lines –
    “We didn’t buy a carrier bag
    and so begin eating with our arms”
    “Intertwined a lady who’s smile glistened like a brand new ashtray
    I leant on the pool table as if I hadn’t seen one before.
    Cooper held a cue the wrong way
    And we didn’t laugh”

    My main issue at the moment is that I am not really sure what the poem is about and I am even more unsure of what is happening at the beginning and the end? I am also not sure I understand the relevance of Burnley in the beginning and the last line completely threw me? It seems like you have a plan though, just that I am not getting it – can you explain what is actually happening?

    Also niggly thing…

    Not sure I am feeling the use of the word ‘peppered’ feels like a weak and odd verb?

    SO EXCITED about this poem – what are your plans RE performance?

    Speak soon

  2. Anne January 21, 2015 at 2:09 pm #

    I love the last line and the Burnely bit!!
    Niggly thing – do you mean ‘pain au chocolat’? Or do you mean streets full of chocolate? Paved with??
    I loove this – it makes me reminisce with you… what is it about? Not sure I know completely but feel it’s about a lot of things… youth, freedom, adventure, abandon (except you still need money!) It’s about how we are small creatures on a huge globe, like the ants eating up your crumbs from the map…

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