James Fields Headline Show final Draft

18 Feb

The sugar war story.

2015. Lieutenant James Fields SAS (sugar. Army. Soldier)

Our commander warned us of the grotesque, vile creatures we would face during this mission. From juvenile jelly baby’s to malicious mars bars and cantankerous cherry drops. Something’s you can never be prepared for.

This war started when a young boy who loved to play with his food stuck a candy brain inside a giant jelly baby . This resulted in the jelly baby developing a consciousness. It became a  maniacal , malevolent mastermind intent on taking over the world. He travelled far and wide using his powers to bring other sweets to life. Soon an army was assembled. The tyrants name? Bob. As in big orange baby. Because he’s orange and he’s big…. You get it right anyways.

After my comrades were killed I retreated into the woods, set up a tent and  planned how to carry out the mission to assassinate bob.

An enemy gingerbread man comes towards me waving a white flag. he presents me a bowl of lovehearts as a peace offering

Rookie move. They’re obviously bombs.

I smile and say.

“Romanticality  and deception. Powerful agents to the uninitiated. But we are initiated aren’t we mr gingerbread man. Fighters of the sugar war!”

I shove the whole lot down his throat then throw him into the sky. I shouldn’t have done that.

He was wearing heart monitor that survived the explosion. And it’s just told his friends where I am and fact  that I just made a firework out of him

The ground starts to rumble. They’re livid. And they’re on their way.

Gingerbread soldiers chase me riding fire breathing freddo’s.

No time to hesitate.

I pick up a candy cane and turn into the mighty Thor, crushing them in a blitzkrieg of sugar with every swing!
There’s too many of them… I can’t keep this up.

I use my SAS  ( sugar army soldier) training and quickly open a pack of millions, then throw them on the floor behind me. The freddo’s slip and slide struggling to get up, causing a barrage of curse words to erupt from their gingerbread masters.

Just for good measure I throw an atomic fireball. They run in fear as the fireballs explode in a sea of demolition inspired by my childhood.

Suddenly a jawbreaker strikes me bang on. I crumple to the floor..

The fox’s biscuits panda is on the warpath.

I suppose I did just steal a million chocolate gold coins from him.

He’s not so big. I could probably take him truth be told. But he’s brought another not so cuddly bear as back up.

WORD
TO
YOUR
MULLER!

That vicious war cry was the last thing my sugar army comrades heard, before they were thrown into a vat of yoghurt by his cold. Callous and calculating hands.

End of the line. Nowhere else to run.

Deep breath.

I pull out my Bertie Bassett Bazooka and prepare for what could be my last stand……..

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  1. Turning Reading Around #bbcgetcreative #Nottingham | Dawn of the Unread - February 19, 2015

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