Jei – SST9 First Draft

1 Jun

–  My eyes are on you

counting the steps towards me

It’s just out of reach

I am clawing this white space in between my eyeballs and eyelids

– The saying goes, you deserve someone who will love you better

someone will love you better

The door swung open

So someone has to leave for something to start.


:/


The door swung open and they left

with an overnight bag,

I ripped apart their open return ticket, shaped it into a single

single handedly soothed by the clean space

no thunderstorm heart hovers around my brains

no rock is sitting on my chest, as I lie in bed,

is this what quitters feel like? if so I would want to quit forever

maybe I’m not quitter, I’m a loser.  I lost the game of tug and war

tugging heartstrings over the empty spaces

stage one is being clean almost as much as you have been dirty

clean as much as you have been intoxicated.

We were ploughing through walls, into the future, our hands clasped

our hands clasped promising never to go back

or look back

the past was a place we tried not to inhabit

yet someone deserves to love me better

I deserve to have someone to love me better

so they packed away

away from me

I am blind, drowning in my quicksand duvet

spring break has been and gone

is this a break or a break up?

I’m not waiting for the answer,

I am deaf to the signs

death

is wishing me away

– In your palm, you have been lost within yourself,

your loves and lovers have been your bandages

shed them like cocoons, unpiercing that discovery

if you keep searching the art of love will remain in the abstract

if you were a butterfly

you’d be the butterfly that was suck in a spiders web in your primary school playground

you saved it; its gratitude was not Disney-like. As it flew away with a hole in it’s

wing, you wished for karma.

Am I allowed to look out of the window like a Jane Austen novel, swooning

for my gallop into the sunset?

– You are your heart; you are your hurt and breakups and get togethers.  As a Virgo you must keep things tidy and clear up the mess. In the future you will meet a tall dark man. It may be your father. If you go further East, the man may be as tall as you.

What about the one with the overnight bag?

–  If I would answer, I’d say it in a cliché. But you already know.

Not waiting for anything.

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2 Responses to “Jei – SST9 First Draft”

  1. MouthyPoets June 1, 2015 at 1:47 pm #

    This is good love the tarot cards feel like you should weave them in a Abit more I’ve got a witchy vibe about this GO IN MORE.neal

  2. deedenie13 June 1, 2015 at 7:18 pm #

    Well, I read this out to you on the phone and hopefully that gave you some motivation as to what you should emphasize more when you speak it or what did not sound quite right. I love the imagery of drowning in your ‘quicksand duvet’… would appreciate more of this ‘drowning’ feeling just so we know the extent of how your world is quite literally falling apart that even your bed sheets have become hostile. I love the Jane Austen line.

    Dee!

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