RAISA DRAFT SS9

1 Jun

Sways like the waves on the sea shore

hearts beating like the equator in the earth smiles erupt like a volcano

it’s been long since a smile became organic and not wasted for the seconds of today

waiting to be trod on tomorrow.

Let the tears of life run freely from cheek to floor for i cannot hide this emotion even if I could.

I’d hide my head in shame like a swan

This place has nostalgia tattooed to every square metre of this green flash backs  of good of bad…

Loss and gain…

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5 Responses to “RAISA DRAFT SS9”

  1. MouthyPoets June 2, 2015 at 9:42 am #

    Hey raisa sway like waves on a sea shore could come across as a Abit of cliche but I think it works with the imagery you have going on maybe stretch the Image more even if you want to keep it abstract where are you? Neal

  2. deedenie13 June 2, 2015 at 11:58 am #

    Yes, I agree with Neal on the stretching of the image, we definitely would want to know where you are eventually. However, I personally do not really find the waves on a sea shore line cliche, it puts a great image in my mind and I quite like it but yes, where are you and what exactly is going on?

    • MouthyPoets June 2, 2015 at 4:48 pm #

      I’m on the carnival just wanted to get something up. Im talking about the how the emotions change and how much going to the carnival has significant meaning for me. The changes in friendships relationships. Growing up finding myself as a person.

  3. MouthyPoets June 3, 2015 at 11:25 am #

    Hey Raisa

    So I love this, all of this, the rhythm and to be honest it feels really complete. Do you want to add more? I was wondering if you could get MotorMouf in or maybe Hannah in just to play around with this piece and the loop pedal to make a sounscape with it… it would definitely work really well with music. What do you think?

    How are you feeling about it?
    Debris x

    • MouthyPoets June 3, 2015 at 11:28 am #

      This is not complete and the whole musical atmosphere sounds amazing, I want to give it a duey daja vu vybze

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