Kat – SST9 First Draft yo

2 Jun

Ok with this its more ive got an idea its just actually writing the poetry around it if that makes sense, like all these ideas and random verses will eventually link up/have gaps filled in, unless i change my mind, ah well, this is what ive got around it so far:

Roll up roll up try your luck at child hood, you’ve got three shots love

he gives me the leather balls to throw and I can feel their sandy innards with my pva skin hands, imprinted with costume decorating, the ridges of my fingers lined with the magenta fibres of disintegrating feather boas and glitter. Innards. They’re heavy, like wet concrete and I can feel them hardening beneath my feet like suburban pavements we danced along last, last, last summer, dancing on rubber soles instead of childish bare feet, my earth bred callouses went to waste in the carnival heat. Now all that’s burning is the bulbs and the man’s harlequin eyes, he’s the kind of man where as a kid I’d be made to grab my mothers hand when his lollipop head and sticky fingers bobbed by, and now he’s offering me three shots at my old life? Price?

It will cost you the slip of your last pay check, your last dotted line signature, your last recorded receipt, the last time you watched what you’d eat for your figure, the last small talk with suited strangers to make the best first impression – give me everything grown up that you don’t quite get yet

In my adolescence, I empty my pockets of past exam pages, recycled shopping bags and the lighter my best friend gave me. He took it as acceptable payment.

…..(haven’t written this bit yet)…..

Then I realised ive lost, when did we stop getting party bags, only things left are hangovers in wrapped up heads, we stopped getting so excited we couldn’t sleep the night before and now we need alarms to scream us into routine, when did our hands and feet become so smooth like unwritten paper when they used to be folded into aeroplanes that would catch running breaths on their wings and climb trees, and we monkeys would pick and eat the fruit of possibilities from in-between the leaves, now all we have to eat are diets and calories.

I used to have a six pack, wore flowery crop tops and bucket hats and spend my whole life swinging from one story to the next with clothes hanger wings and upcycled dreams, with my imagination I could make anything that I now buy from the fancy dress store.

…..(also havent written this either)…..

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2 Responses to “Kat – SST9 First Draft yo”

  1. MouthyPoets June 3, 2015 at 10:22 am #

    Hi Kat,

    Totally cool to write around something I think. Really nice use of language in this, I love ‘innards’ and how that moves throughout the piece and the sand turning into wet concrete then solidifying, it gives a nice sense of movement from the literal to the metaphorical – from actually playing a game, to a game representing a transition from childhood to adulthood… or at least this is the sense I am getting. Is that what you are going for?

    I love this line ‘give me everything grown up that you don’t quite get yet’, feels like this is the core of the poem.

    The bits after the ‘bits you haven’t written yet’ felt a lot less clear to me than than the bits before it. What are you looking to happen here?

    Also, you mentioned to me working with Izzy, any ideas on how your pieces and ideas are going to come together?

    Debris

  2. MouthyPoets June 5, 2015 at 12:31 am #

    Loving your work as always Kat. I like the “harlequin eyes” image and the concept is great. The only thing constructive feedback I can think of is maybe change some of your similes to metaphors
    Ingrid

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