Jei – SST9 – Final Draft – Studio Show

9 Jul

Clean is just out of reach

I am in this white space in between my eyeballs and eyelids,  clawing for the exit..

– You deserve someone who will love you better,

someone will love you better.

The door swung open.

–Someone has to leave for something to start.

The door swung open and they left

with an overnight bag,

I ripped apart their open return ticket, shaped it into a single//

single handedly

soothed by the clean space

sometimes thunderstorm clouds hover over my head, filled with whispers

the moon has fallen on my chest, as I lie in bed.

My ribs could collapse.

– In your palm, you have been lost within yourself,

your loves and lovers have been your bandages

shed them like cocoons, unveiling that discovery

Is this what quitters feel like? If so I would want to quit forever.

Stage one of rehab is being clean almost as much as you have been dirty,

clean as much as you have been intoxicated.

We were ploughing through walls, into the future, our hands clasped

promising that the past was a place we would never inhabit.

Yet someone deserves to love me better.

I deserve to have someone to love me better.

So they packed away.

Away from me.

I am numb drowning in my quicksand duvet.

– You are the butterfly

stuck in a spiders web in your primary school playground.

You had saved it; its gratitude did not swell up Disney-like.

It  flew away with a hole in it’s

wing, you wished for karma.

I guess I should stop looking out of the window like a Jane Austen novel, swooning

for my gallop into the sunset?

– If you keep searching the art of love will remain in the abstract. You are your heart; you are your hurts and gatherings.  As a Virgo you must keep things tidy and clear up the mess. In the future you will meet a tall dark man. It may be your father. If you go further East, the man may be as tall as you.

What about the one with the overnight bag? Do I hide, do I wait? Willing our ending end reunited like a 90’s chic flick? Specifically, the one with Heath Ledger.

–  If I would answer, I’d say it in a cliché  or an R&B song. But you already know.

– Clean is just a tip toe away.


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