Charlie’s SST10 3rd-ish draft

14 Jan

Running time is still between 2 1/2 – 3 minutes (depends how I perform it). Anne helped me with the lineation so would love to know how it reads/how it looks! Also looking for any kind of guidance with how to perform it, at the moment I’ve been thinking about using some candles as I want it to be quite a dark poem, mainly focusing on the voice, but maybe have a dim spotlight or something.
I’d also love feedback on what you feel/think this poem’s about, or anything else you’ve noticed that I can work on:)
(still doesn’t have a title yet)

 

But whilst warmth breaths you through, Habibtaa
my child, you are alive
which is all that matters.

You were born to a world on the brink of burning
to a room
of nine other babes
that will die before their first lit candle.
This half-lived life is built on
ghosts that bleed through bricks.

Be ignorant through innocence,
be blissful but blind
to the towers you bring down
with your closed-eye melodies.
Hold on
to the colours you see
to tint the hopscotch nightmares that chalk our streets.

Sleepless.
Deafened by bloodshed dreams that plague
your lullabies. I’m sorry, my child,
for the endless nights
of tiger-eye raindrops
that rage across a grazed horizon.
One day, Habibtaa, I promise
you will see the stars from my sky
not these that fall and burn
around us.

Count the spaces between
my fingers, match them with yours
and I’ll keep you safe
from the window through which you watch this world.
Come inside, Habibtaa, stay indoors
for puzzles come in pieces
not parts
of a body, strewn in the alleys.

Believe me,
a good heart triumphs
but some men cannot see
the way they see their own little girls.
Same dress
same smile
same heart
won’t cover the darkness that engraves your face.
And your tarnished skin
will forever bring them knocking

I’m sorry
For no child should bear witness to her friend
pulled from the rubble, leaving behind
red-buckle shoes
feet still fastened inside.

And I’m sorry
These hands cannot hold
you, Habibtaa
when the silhouetted masakh
play peril in the night.
Be brave.

Creep under the floorboards
just like I said. Wait
for shots to sound no more
footfall fades and blood
slows to a drip
and this world keeps on burning.

Now the ghost of my
half-lived life
bleeds through the bricks.

But whilst warmth breathes through you, Habibtaa
my child, you are alive
and that is all that matters
to me.

 

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One Response to “Charlie’s SST10 3rd-ish draft”

  1. MouthyPoets January 14, 2016 at 5:01 pm #

    hey charlie this is great just a few things. first stanza id take away but it works better opening withwhilst.also burning to a room kinda jars with me i like it but it doesnt seem to read very well. tiger eye raindrops WONDERFUL LINE . puzzles come in piecies not parts EURGH SO GOOD . but id possibly move the line below it up. really great poem it reads very well a few bits . looking forward to seeing this performed. neal

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