Anne SST10 Final Draft – Meteor Shower

28 Jan

METEOR SHOWER

It started with a leg of Welsh lamb

from the farm shop

the ‘organic’ farm shop

and potatoes

‘organic’ potatoes

and cooking times, the boys at the pub

which is okay

except you don’t get to go

and me joining them

it’s everyone’s holiday

it’s your holiday too

I’d not stopped all day

you had no time alone

so stop for a drink

so a quick half

you deserved that

oak-casked cider

left my phone behind

not much signal

no signal anywhere

youngest sent to fetch us

you asked them to stay

not on the agenda

stormed off

oh dear

uh oh

left my drink

it’s just a drink

cue guilt oak-casked

back up the hill

you needed to check in

cue duty

heart banging

breathe

cue resentment

breathe

cue anger       

breathe

confusion, questions, door slamming

hold on

cue rage

is this my fault?

there is no fault

not your fault

it’s my fault. Go outside

get space

get away

they follow

no time alone

need to be free

so I…

breathe

howl

then hands stroke

trying to help

need to be lone

voices soothe “we’re all here for you”

they are

like a choke-holdis this the best that we can be?

lamb’s spoiled

lamb’s fine

screw the lamb

head is hot

need cold

need numb

let the arms hold

breathe

cue responsibility

lamb’s nice

lamb’s ruined

pretend to eat.

Later, I saw a star shoot across the sky. Come and see! And we all saw.

And right then, we were the best that we could be.

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