Nadia (final draft)

4 Feb

I am shit I have been away I am so sorry (bad excuse)






So I studied with some right bellends

“My dad invented the bubbles in areos”

“My mum designs the albums covers for Rolling Stones”

“I am related to Alexander Fleming”

I don’t care

I am from Nottingham

“You’re from Nottingham…Doesn’t that have terrible gun crime”

Oh get over yourself mate.


Four years of being away from home and I am back with the parents.

Who are constantly hinting for me to move out.


I volunteer everywhere

I get told

“Stop Volunteering”

“Keep job hunting”

“Only accept paid work”

Oh yeah it’s that simple


Invigilating in a gallery eating chocolate biscuits

Is probably a better use of my time

At least some of it can go on my CV .


So 4 years of uni debt

Being told a first will open you so many doors

and most days I have customers shout at me  for the 5p carrier bag charge.


I stand around a lot

With a floral dress on


As customers click their fingers

at me

Mutter under the breath

Moan how expensive we are

And how useless I am

When we run out of stock.


Yet I smile ..and say

” I think paradise bunch is lovely it’s my favourite print”

“Oh my goodness bloomsbury bouquet really matches your skin tone “


I laugh when I see customers mess up the display

That I was in preparing at 7.00am

I grit my teeth

When customers demand a refund

On a teddy bear

That their baby has been sick on.

5 minutes before.


Yet I am still smiling


I watch Jack my best friend get promoted in his teaching post

I see my friend Sarah is getting married

And asks me to be her Bridesmaid

And tells me

“Not tot to worry you will be on top table as you no boyfriend”


I even went for management position at work

After 2 years

Of putting up with

bad deployment

Getting told not to say ducky

As I sound common

And that I must paint my nails

They said No

Gave it to someone external


Mug here

will keep doing all their overtime

Cleaning their toilets

bringing in their sales

As they natter

and eat chocolate in the office.


I seem to be good at

Smiling and putting tulips in my hair and pretending everything is okay

and I am really good at pretending that paradise flower is my favourite print

and I wear it all the time.




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