neal pike sst11 first draft

12 May

Heres my first draft feedback greatly appriciated .

my wings    oddly   bolted   structures

manipulated   contorted   to   fly  from   a  young  age

by  flying  on  backs   of    unicorns

always    a   good   crash  away  from contorting   collapsing

causing   another  injury

another  misjointed wing .

but  flew   up  sideways  backwards

any way

——

 

wings   oddly   bolted

pulling  bodies     in   wrong   directions

tongue  wrapped up brambles

turned   words   into  half  split  branches

people  only   used    some  for  firewood

from  a young  age

I  used   my   mouth  more than sparingly

 

—–

 

elders  around   me said

I  used  it   too  much   it was   mainly   windless

clouds  that  took   time  to  shift  places

 

—-

I  was diffiernt with  oddly botled wings  that

grow odder and  chose  to  sing  with tongues  like  mine

and  the  word   brave  caused  feathers  on my  wings  to recede

drop  like pellets

feeling  like  being  pushed  backwards

for  wanting to  push  forwards

 

—–

 

because I could and wanted too

winds around me coverd my wings with the word

brave stroking  my  head  telling  me  I didn’t  have   to

do these  things  like  flying   backwards   or  singing  home written songs

I was brave for this

– – –
brave  for  not   letting   oddly  jointed  wings
fall  fall back  to   the  nest

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