Anne’s First Draft for SST11

15 May

 – Not performing – I’m thinking this will be sound  – maybe I’ll have someone on the stage cleaning – maybe a bit OCD – maybe a bit Lady Macbeth – maybe it will be me –

I’ve been keeping the likes of him from the door for years, parading as something they’re not. I’ve met plenty of characters like him before and never been taken in.

It’s about timing though, isn’t it? I hadn’t worn that coat for years. It’s not really my colour anymore. It has a swing to it, the way it’s cut, it made me feel young, free of responsibility. I realise now that’s what attracted him, that, and my seeming independence, striding through the woods. It’s hard work finding your way through the woods and back every day. I think I was ready to be rescued, if I’m honest. And he needs to be the rescuer to feel anything about himself. And he needs somewhere to hide out, lick his wounds.

I think I knew something wasn’t quite right. But we all have our baggage, so I made excuses for his behaviour. I saw that his teeth were a little on the long side, his ears a little too pointed, that greying fuzz around them, and once, I swear I saw the switch of a tail. But you can’t judge on looks can you? And his actions seemed benevolent enough, he was very attentive, if a little proprietorial. Sometimes I’d catch him sniffing the air and licking his lips.

Part of me felt sorry for him, he was a loner, you know? I think that’s what he played on. But I got tired of him snapping at people. Always somebody else’s fault. I got tired of apologising for him. And his appetite! My food bills rocketed. And I never asked him to move in, but sometimes he’d be there when I got home, just blown in from nowhere, it’s like he thought he could push the walls down and walk straight in.

I’m not stupid. I know the dangers of the world, I’ve read the papers, I listen to the news. I’m old enough to remember those little pigs! I always thought it was a bit harsh, them getting 20 years a piece, but then I suppose a message had to go out, you can’t take the law into your own hands. But what are you supposed to do when your home is threatened?

I was lucky. I got him to go. Lucky! I mean he ran up debts, the house had a stench about it, and my confidence was shaken, but I got him to go.  I think he’d been lining up another victim anyway, so he moved on – thrashing around and howling like he’d been cut in half.

The house still has the stench of him. But I’m working on that.

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