Barney SST11 1st draft

15 May
Here’s what I’ve got so far, any feedback would be greatly appreciated! (For some reason, none of the line breaks on this post are showing up so I’ve put a / where they should be)
 /
12 years old, our guide was stolen.
Suddenly our packs weighed a load more and
it’s breaking my back as I crawl along the floor.
I never agreed to take on Atlas’ responsibility,
Facing the dirt, I struggle to my feet then buckle at the knees,
stumble and tumble face first into a puddle.
Drowning in five inches of water.
I ought’a stand and then walk.
High fives like yeah I survived,
with a girl at my side with a necklace and
reckless abandon and a band,
with banners and all of man reflecting back my mannerisms at me.
Tryna copy cat me, man how good would that be?
But actually I’m lying where I fell, oxygen deprived brain cells,
Til my family pull me up by my coat tails,
Still facing both their own hells.

 /

Hades had cast shade on their hearts too,
The part the Gods played I cannot forgive,
I learnt that to live I had to be hard too.
12 years old and facing 12 labours,
Paying a pennance of someone else’s creation,
Killing and capturing birds, bulls and boars,
Tales on papyrus papers passed down through generations,
But hydras and lions can’t satiate my deicidal aspirations.

 /

So now I’m playing that long game, strong aim,
Laying on the top of a mountain and I’m shouting,
That really all you got world?
Watched the clouds furrow their brows,
start screaming back and spitting at the mouth.
There’s thunder approaching from the south.
Under my breath, counting out the seconds to the booming beckoning,
Clapping like they reckon it’s my reckoning.
I’m like yeah yeah, gimme my applause, send your God of war.
I didn’t come here for no truce.
Think I’m scared cos your Daddy’s called Zeus?
Well my dad was called Dave, wait till you see the son that he made.
The paths that he paved, waves strong enough to turn the tide on Poseidon.
Knock his lights out, take his trident and wave him off as he heads over the horizon.
I ain’t scared of the lightning,
Or the chariot you ride in,
I’ll fill it up with claret seas,
Spill the blood of Gods and bring them to their knees.
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