That Morning. Ingrid. 2nd Draft

17 Jun

That morning: the girl

“I will kill, I will kill”

I looked outside and saw the toad from the pond next door whispering these words,

so I shut the window because it was kind of creeping me out.

I went to get breakfast,

greeted my mother who looked like a ripe peach this morning

then got into my car and drove to town,

I ran some errands.

When I returned, I went through the gate to the back garden.

Then I saw her there, my mother, lying faced down

in a red Atlantic on the grass.

How unusual,

no one could have looked through their windows yet.

That morning: the toad

The girl didn’t acknowledge me.

She should have. Her expression was so nonchalant

She has no idea of her guilt

and this weaved me into my torment,

made us one being.

She drove over my love’s body,

No one should ever have to see a loved one like that.

She will atone.

I will make a deal with the warlock

for the ability to destroy her.

Destroy her and make her destroy me.

That morning: the child

In the mornings, I play with the toad in the garden.

I haven’t seen his friend in a while,

they seemed to be good friends.

I think he loves her

more than my parents seem to love each other.

This morning I had to call him,

but after a while, he came under the fence

and hopped towards me.

I sat crossed legged on the floor

and cupped my hands in front of me for him to climb up.

He hopped into my hands.

It felt like we’d been sat there for a long time

This isn’t how we usually play

While he was in my hands

I saw nothing but kaleidoscope colours.

Then he decided to go about his day

Leaving some old seeds behind in my hands.

I got up, walked into next door’s garden,

went through the back door.

I climbed on a chair

And dropped the seeds into the granola.

Then I went back through to my garden,

ran my fingers through the pond water

And went to play in the sand.

That morning: the mother

I have a lot to do this morning

I looked out the window

Saw the sky looked like a pink and blue tiger

I quickly got dressed so I could get outside

Start work on the car while in the midst

of something spectacular.

The tiger disappeared, the air started to open my pores

I know my daughter will be awake soon.

I went back inside to wash my hands and

at the same time she came down the stairs,

mumbled something and left.

This was typical of her, she’ll be back soon.

I went upstairs to have a shower

Then dressed in a brick red t-shirt and

some baggy jeans before tying my hair up.

I went downstairs and poured out some granola

with soya milk and relaxed into a chair.

After a few spoonfuls, I started to feel nauseous

So I got up to check the date on the milk.

Mistake. Everything around me started to warp and spin.

Water. I grasped onto the kitchen counter

a desperate attempt to stay upright

then I dragged myself,

threw myself

over the sink

turned on the water,

then it started happening.

For some reason

I was still seeing specks of engine oil on my skin

they grew into thick blots and began boiling

and this is when I started screaming

arm in water, pain not subsiding.

I glanced out the window behind the sink

and saw my mother

who has been dead for five years

standing in the garden.

She beckoned for me to come outside

Her face more accepting than it ever was,

making me almost choke on the longing.

I stumbled along the counter to the back door

and went through to get a better look at her.

At this, her face changed and she shook her head

before brushing her finger across her throat.

I felt warmth pouring down from the new wound on my neck.

That morning: the girl continued

My gaze shifted from the windows to the floor.

In the corner near the flower bed,

I saw the toad from this morning.

Curiously, I walked in its direction.

It bravely sat there facing me.

I stopped in front of the toad, and stomped on it six times.

I didn’t realise that the neighbour’s child had been watching.

His little face red, his lip trembling

Every effort to barricade his tears.

I walk over to him,

crouch to his level, and try to tell him it’s okay.

It felt like I’d been crouched there a long time.

All I saw was kaleidoscope colours.

Then he turned and walked away

as if nothing happened.

I stood up, turned around

and saw my mother on the grass in a red Atlantic.

I collapsed to my knees, felt a stone dig in,

which made me fall onto my side.

Everything hit me like being booted in the face with New Rocks

I remember doing this to her,

How could I have done this to her?

I love her,

I loved her.

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